Fail, fall, fart
Last week was F’ed. (I say this because I was extremely unsuccessful with longboarding and because the headline has all Fs.)
As I mentioned in my last post, my goal was to be able to do a spin on my board. I was inspired by this child who makes it look super easy.
I failed at this goal.
I would love to blame the weather and my busyness—it was a hectic week— but I gotta take accountability: I just have not put enough effort into practicing.
When I wasn’t at work last week, my time was spent with my girls, with boys (hehe), and being a mom.
Okay, I was a fill-in mother to my sister’s 11-year-old pug, Carito, but still.
Those are all valid priorities, but I really want to achieve this goal of learning how to longboard dance. I do have a tendency to take on everything and then just not sleep, but I don’t want to do that. So if any of you have time management advice, please send that my way.
TBH, I only longboarded once last week. I tried to do a spin, and this is what that looked like.
Not videoed was when I tried to spin while going faster, then I had a fall and almost ripped a new pair of pants.
But no major injuries yet, and I did expect to hit the pavement a time or two during this process, so it’s all good.
What’s not good, though, is my lack of progress.
I am well aware that the reason for this is the small amount of time I’ve spent on my board. So moving into next week, my goal is to practice every single day—unless it’s raining or snowing really hard.
To make sure that I actually follow through, I’m going to take a time-stamped selfie each time I’m out. Next week’s post will have six dated pictures, as well as video footage of me doing a spin as gracefully as that cute little girl.
Now, in news totally unrelated to longboard dancing, I’m going to tell you about the third F of my week.
I was watching my sister’s house and dog while she was away on vacation.
It was the last day of my house/dog sitting duties, so I washed my sister’s bedding. I was making the bed and the freshly washed, white duvet cover was on the floor. Bowel-problem Carito sat on it. To my dismay, when she got up, there was a brown skid mark.
I was understandably very annoyed. I went to look at her asshole to see if there was poop residue that I needed to clean.
I lifted her tail, and, as if her tail were some sort of gas lever, this woman farted in my face then turned around to give me a long, dirty look.
Maybe that was her mean dog way of telling me to get my shit together. Probably not, but that’s what I’m going to interpret it as.
Stay tuned next week to see the results of me taking Carito’s twisted signs to heart. (This has gotten weird, but what I’m saying is that I’m going to practice and next week’s post will be better).
What I’ve learned/some realizations:
Sometimes you live, laugh, love. Sometimes you fail, fall, fart.
If you don’t practice, a 9-year-old will show you up, no problem.
I need help with time management! (Not a new discovery. Please help, friends!)
I don’t have pink eye, and for that, I am grateful—gotta stay positive, ya know?