No one cares what I’m doing

And that’s so freeing!

The other day I posted a video on TikTok and it got just two views… and I couldn’t have been happier.

Let me explain.

For months and months, I have written in my agenda: Post on TikTok.

If you’ve read any of my stuff, you know that I love Gary Vee, and he’s been talking about this social platform for a while now, saying that it’s the best place to be if you have something, say a blog or podcast, that you want people to know about. And while the app is filled with 12-year-olds dancing and lip syncing in crop tops, like Facebook that was once just for college kids trying to hook up, or Instagram that was once just for aspiring photographers, he says that TikTok will likely change and be a platform for everyone.

I’ve been hearing this over and over again, but for the longest time I was too scared to post because I was so worried about what people would think (the recurring problem of my and so many people’s lives).

Every time I opened the app, I pictured everyone making fun of me.

“Kaitlin’s trying to become a famous TikToker. What a loser.”

“Lol, is Kaitlin going to learn some Gen Z, preteen choreography? Or is she going to do some cringey skits that are trying to be funny? How embarrassing.”

“Who does Kaitlin think she is, thinking that people will follow her on this teenybopper app?”

With these made-up voices in my head, I continued to write “Post on TikTok” in my agenda every week, but months had gone by, and nothing. I was too embarrassed to even open the app, let alone post on it.

Last week, though, I guess I just reached the point where I had enough. Enough of not doing something because I worry what people may think. Enough of being controlled by the fear of people possibly making fun of me. Enough of putting this tiny little thing off.

This is my video that got two views. TWO! And one of those views was from my sister, after I asked her to go and watch.

So, I finally posted on TikTok.

And, to my relief, the world didn’t flip upside down. None of my friends, family, or random acquaintances made fun of me (at least to my knowledge). No one messaged me to tell me that I’m stupid. No one had conversations about how I’m such a loser.

In fact, quite the opposite happened.

When I posted on TikTok, no one gave two shits.

What a relief!

I’ve talked about this topic of judgement before, but I’m talking about it again because it’s one of, if not the most significant things holding me back in life. And while I am working on it and I know that I have been improving, this little TikTok debacle brought some insecurities and two very important points back to the surface.

Everyone’s too busy worrying about themselves to be sitting around judging what you’re doing.

What a freeing and wonderful thing to remember.

I wasted months not doing something that I wanted to do all because I was worrying what people would think. Meanwhile, no one was thinking about me at all.

Everyone has their own shit to deal with, so why would they be worrying about mine?

No one’s freaking out about my TikTok because they are too busy thinking about their own social media activity.

No one’s paying attention to my pimples or blackheady nose because they’re too busy trying to clear up their own skin.

No one’s sitting around talking about how I’m not working (this is another thing I’ve been worrying people have been judging me about) because they’re too busy worrying about their own work situations—people are getting laid off because of corona, why would they be dwelling about your unemployment, Kaitlin?

No one cares if I’ve put on a couple pounds during quarantine because they’re too busy trying to lose the weight they’ve gained during this time.

I could go on and on and on, but you get the point, right?

There’s zero reason to be held back by judgement, because that judgement likely doesn’t even exist. Everyone’s too busy with their own lives and problems to be wasting their time judging mine.

2. If people are judging you, that’s more about them than it is about you.

If someone does happen to find the time to take their attention off themselves to cast judgement on me, that negativity is still about them and not about me.

Have you ever noticed that the things you pay attention to in other people are often related to the things you’re insecure about in yourself?

*This is from my Daily Quote app, which appears to be reading my mind.*

If someone has great skin, a flat tummy, a career that they love, or is super confident online, I always notice.

Why these things in particular? Because these are the things that I worry about in my own life.

I often dwell about my pimples and stomach rolls, I’m always thinking about my own career and how I can find fulfillment in it, and, as you know, I often spiral, stressing about how I come across on my social media. These are my worries, so these are the things I’m overly observant of in others.

If someone is noticing things about me that have no impact on themselves, well, that’s probably because I’m doing something that triggers their own insecurities. And, if they go one step further by spreading negativity by putting me down or talking shit behind my back, well, man, they have some significant personal work to do.

I can’t let someone’s dissatisfaction with themselves keep me from doing my thang!

So, that’s it, my friends.

So much freedom comes when you realize that no one’s judging you, and if they are, it’s a reflection of themselves and not of you.

Big lessons to learn from TikTok, lol, but I’m glad to be reminded of these facts, and I’m hopeful that I (and whomever is reading this) will keep these lessons top of mind and continue to do what I want to do.

What I’ve learned/some realizations:

Everyone’s too busy worrying about themselves to be sitting around judging what you’re doing.
If people are judging you, that’s more about them than it is about you.
You really just gotta do what you want to do!