I'm moving out!

Oprah and this big life change have got me reflecting on the present moment.

*Hanging with my current roommates, Mom and Dad.*

Guess what… I’m moving to Toronto!

This weekend, I am leaving my parents’ house in Courtice to live by myself (ah!) in the city, and I’m sooo excited! I’ve always loved Toronto and I’m moving right by the Rogers Centre and it’s gonna be so much fun and my little place is gonna be so cute and I’m just so pumped!

And while I feel so happy about this new chapter (and sooo happy I found a job I actually enjoy and that’s allowing me to do this), sometimes, when I’m not conscious of my thoughts, I slip into anxiety.

“How long am I gonna live in Toronto for?”

“When am I going to buy a place?”

“How long will I like this job for?”

“When am I gonna leave the city and move to the beach?”

Ughs. I haven’t even moved yet, and I feel like I have this voice in the back of my head that’s telling me to worry about what’s next.

And though this is my internal dialogue, I’m confident that other people can relate to this because these thoughts are very in line with the ways of our culture.

Here in the western world, so much of our lives are spent living for this uncertain future.

Most of us have these goals that we tell ourselves will bring us happiness. And so we hustle and hustle to achieve them, then when we finally do, often we find ourselves both exhausted and still unhappy because we’ve already got our eyes on new goals that we tell ourselves will actually bring us happiness this time. And when we keep chasing and chasing and living for this imaginary future happiness, we miss out on what’s in front of us in this real, present moment that we’re living in now.

I can think of countless examples of how this mindset has manifested/continues to manifest in my life:

Throughout school I couldn’t wait for exams to be done or for it to be summer break, all while simultaneously wishing away the amazing, temporary experience of being a student.

So many times I’ve dreamt about flashing forward to some imaginary future where more people listen to my podcast, all while simultaneously missing out on the joy of just doing something that I like and care about.

Cue a nice long eye roll for how much of my life has been spent wishing for a boyfriend, while simultaneously failing to embrace the single life fun of going on dates, meeting new people, and having stories to share with my friends.

In our society, I feel like we’re trained to think that everything we do is a means to an end.

And you know what? I don’t want to live like that anymore! I don’t want to miss the beauty of the life I’m living right now because I’m so fixated on achieving some frivolous shit in the future.

I think our society needs to shift from thinking that everything is a means to an end and realize that every day is an end in and of itself.

For real though.

Today could be your last day (fill in the blank with literally anything).

Today could be your last day as a single person.

Today could be your last day as an employed person.

Today could be your last day with someone you love.

Today could be your last day period.

For me, today is my last Tuesday living at home.

And so, I’m not going to be ridiculous and fixate on what’s to come after my time in Toronto. In fact, I don’t even want to fixate on my time in Toronto.

Right now, I’m going to embrace where I am, who I am, and who I’m with in this current moment.

So, with that said, thank you for reading this little blog post. I hope you enjoyed it. But now I’m gonna enjoy my current, fleeting living situation, and go hang out with my dog and parents.

What I’ve learned/some realizations:

It’s just so important to be present! That’s where the truth and the peace and the joy lie!
Right now is guaranteed. Tomorrow isn’t.
We’ve bought into the idea that happiness will come in the future. But in our accomplishment-oriented, accolade-driven world, happiness is often a short-lived, constantly moving target. And doesn’t that suck? I’d like to opt outta that.
I feel like you gotta listen to Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays, man. Her conversations with Eckhart Tolle have been a real game-changer for me. They’ve really been helping to shift my perspective from “I can’t be happy until…” to “Shit, right now is amazing!”